Welp, I have watched the live pre-E3 Press conference, in which Microsoft revealed a bunch of games with numbers in them, even more games with Colons in the title and a handful of mostly pointless internet features I've been able to access anywhere from my mobile phone for the last 8 years,
(Facebook and Twitter? really?
If they'd had this feature when the 360 launched, it would've been a myspace channel,
and I'm struggling to imagine anything more depressing than that.
Wait, no, I've got it,
Picture for a second that you boot up your dreamcast and see your old faceparty page with a picture of your 16 year old self staring back at you with cold dead teenage eyes.)
But instead of Halo: raiden, Metal gear solid: Beatles* or Tony Hawks: more plastic shite for your living room, Microsoft dedicated the climax of the conference to the eyetoy 360: the next generation.
Which, despite Peter Moluneux's entirely out of character** hyperbolic mega-promises, shows that the only must have gaming peripheral of the future will be vokda.
Lots of vodka.
Does anyone really want to flail around like that in their living room while stone cold sober?
I thought not.
I've always wondered what kind of social change would be required to cause the whole population to consume the enormous variety of future-drugs that one finds in virtually every near-future science fiction story.
Oppressive government control?
Attempts to numb the horror of a post-apocalyptic world?
Of course not. Suddenly it's all so clear.
Everyone in the world will need to be high as the moon on soma/spice/nukes/deathsticks just to get over the embarrassment of playing the video game system they just spend 300 future-bucks on.
*A Raiden spin off? Really? Surely MGS2 was enough. I could almost hear the belly laughs from the ps3 fanboys.
**this is sarcasm... a metric fuck-ton of sarcasm.
Monday 1 June 2009
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Left for Dead 2 might be ok though! & Bayonetta & the new Sonic R. Really I just want a UK release date for KOF12 and BlazBlue though.
ReplyDeleteLeft 4 dead 2 should be amazing. (as more of the same is perfectly fine by me in this case.. especially with added chainsaws)
ReplyDeleteThere's a really nice bunch of exciting looking games coming to the 360 (and ps3 for that matter) over the next year or so. But I found it rather funny that MS spent more time having a guy on stage pretending to be an elephant for part of the project Natal demo than o a lot of those mega-boner games.
I must've missed the new sonic R though
The only thing like that I saw was the sega superstars kart racing,
which, despite my usual aversion to non-mario mascot based kart games, may be quite fun. As I've enjoyed the other sega-superstars games so far.
Is KOF12 coming from ignition games? They've been really hit and miss with hitting UK launch dates in the past..
one of the Samurai Spirits for the ps2 got delayed every week for three or four months.
I was UK:R kinda kidding with the Sonic R thing ;) yeh its the Sonic Kart thingy... just UK:R pointed out Sega wouldn't dare call it Sonic:R 2, so I intend to call it just that!
ReplyDeleteI have no idea who is releasing KOF12. It's back to July now tho for USA, so says this link on the interwebz:
http://www.gamestracker.com/king-of-fighters-12-release-date.htm
Christ, I havn't checked UK:R in about a million years.
ReplyDeleteI need to add it to my feed reader.
For a few weeks UK resistance was the only site I had bookmarked on my Dreamcast
...then I realised I could look at internet boobs from the comfort of my bedroom whenever I liked and my bookmarks suddenly became a much darker place.
Ahh good times.
*ahem* besides,Sonic allstars racing is way more sonic drift 3 than Sonic R:2 :P